im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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