dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
