Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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