I wish my penis had an off switch
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
