i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
