im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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