Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
