Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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