I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
