Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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