the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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