At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
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I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
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