there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Please don't give away my fajitas
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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