Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
