"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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