i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
