I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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