Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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