We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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