Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
God I need to hump something, right now.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
