come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
