I got chris browned last night
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
