I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize