My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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