it wasn't lemon gatorade
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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