Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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