Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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