do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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