True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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