She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
