Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
