she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
