I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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