What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize