yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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