i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
