I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think i got beer on your cat.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
