Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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