I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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