Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Your mouth is God's brothel.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
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having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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