I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
