i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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