smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
