Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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