Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
