i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
