You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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