there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
