Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
