dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
