worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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