And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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