Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
