look no pants
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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