And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
