What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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