I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
