Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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