why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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